My Story Of The Year (Poem)

I’m holding on to what is gone
For some reason my heart won’t let you go.
I guess it’s too bad that everything we have is taken away.
I can still feel the scratches down my spine when my mind crosses your face.
You’ll never know. You’ll never know.
My heart bleeds for your name; I can feel the blood shoot out of every vein.
But, until the day I die, I’ll spill my heart for you.
My empty promises seemed to never change.
I know that and I’m sorry. This is the moment I live for.
My open wounds bleed, my veins run dry. Creating a wave of emotions
I had never known I had felt for you. At night I lay in bed and think
“Why did I let her go.” As my eyes are shut my hands are shaking but my body lies perfectly still.
Every night, I’m determined to let myself sink down.
Down to a place that is my subconscious where I spend hours upon hours dancing in your arms.
The same way you did in my arms what seems like such a long time ago.
The night we danced the night away and our lips were one.
I had something better waiting ahead but I didn’t care my mind was infatuated with lust.
From the sidewalks, running away from the streets we knew I wanted to take you in my arms and keep
You forever. I was too nervous.
My veins continue to dry and I wish the tide would swallow every inch of this city.
I hold this token of your love in my arms as I sleep and pray for night to start over again.
Words are spoken and broken down. Let’s make this night be our last mistake! And let’s
Take the time to wipe the blood away!
With each gasp of air I swallow the knife. Just come find me and hold me
Hold me in your arms and I’ll return the favor just like we always do. Just like we always do.
Without you I am left in the shadows and I am screaming in the night and in my nightmares
“WHAT’S LEFT OF ME!?”
I’m slowly falling into insanity.
Can you hear me crying out the anthem of my dying day?
Within my words are the songs that run through my mind every night screaming these words in my ears
because they were familiar to us. When we would love one another these lyrics would flow through us.
Together we would walk down the sidewalks of Page Avenue.
Those streets mean the world to me. I know you probably think you watched the hero drown.
No one else will be able to come and save you.
But I want you to be aware that
I.
Want.
To.
Save.
You.
With every inch of my being. Even if you don’t feel you need it, it’s my duty to fly to your safety.
But I know that nothing can fly with this broken wing.
I’ve tried to run to you and I keep falling down and tripping over myself.
By my own design I fall and I lay face first in the sand with the wreckage of ships that have lost
Their way. So I hold my breath and dive right in.
I would say that “She can’t sleep. She can’t sleep at all”. But my communications to you fail.
I can tell you that I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep at all.
I lay thinking of what would have been done and I come to the conclusion it’s all over.
My words disappear before your eyes as you read my thoughts, and I’ve run out of things to offer.
So, this is a gift. I hope you know this is for you. It’s all for you. My life means nothing without you.
Even as a friend by my side.
Just tell me I’m wrong and I’m not holding on to what is gone
But instead I am reaching out to what is willing.
Tell me you feel something too.
Tell me you want me to save you.
Tell me that you’ll patch my bleeding heart.
Tell me you miss me.
Tell me you care about me.
Tell me you’ll dance the night away.